Remember health class?

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Do you guys remember how in health class back in high school they made it seem as if even kissing someone of the opposite sex meant you’d end up knocked up and you’d become an outcast and everyone would hate you?  It turns out, babies aren’t all that easy to make.  I guess some people don’t struggle, but the majority of people I’ve talked with have not gotten pregnant on their first ‘try’.  Not everyone needs fertility treatments, but I do.  For me, to make a baby with my husband, I have to have 2 injections everyday, to start.  I’m glad to do it, really I am.  BUT, wouldn’t it be nice to make them the old fashioned way?  Having my husband stab me multiple times isn’t very romantic.  We’re making the best of it though.  I’m so lucky to be going through this with him by my side.

Today was easier than yesterday because I wasn’t as scared of the needles.  I’m not sure if we pushed the meds in too quickly or what but it stung and still stings a bit.  Earlier today I thought I felt some pain in my ovaries, but I’m probably just imagining that – which has been known to happen from time to time.  Picture that scene from The Switch where Jason Bateman explains what hypochondria is to Sebastian and he responds, “Oh my God.  I have that.”  So far no side effects.  I tried to drink more water today as I heard that can help.  I’m excited for my appointment on Friday. I don’t know that they expect to see anything happening just yet but I’m excited all the same.

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And so it begins…

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Well, we did it!  Our first day of injections are over.  I thought I was going to be okay doing it myself, but my stomach started to flip-flop as I was staring at the needles and the vials.  Luckily, Kyle was more than happy to have the opportunity to stab his wife a few times with no repercussions (kidding of course!).  First we did the 15 of Low Dose HCG, followed by the 150 of Gonal-F.  We realized that the one thing the pharmacy hadn’t sent was gauze, which probably would’ve helped to put pressure on my skin so that the needles come out easier, we’ll have to pick some up for tomorrow.  It was relatively painless and Kyle did a great job.  A few minutes later my stomach started to have an ache/burning feeling at the injection site.  I’m assuming this is the medication getting into my system.  Work your magic, medicine!

This morning I had my baseline ultrasound and blood work which both came back good.  My next appointment is on Friday.  We will continue nightly injections of the same dose until then.

Thank you everyone for your well wishes and support through phone calls, texts, Instagram, the blog, Facebook and Twitter.  We’re glad we’re not in this alone.

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Let’s Throw a Party!

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Things are starting to get real over here.  With Day 1 happening yesterday, that means that tomorrow I will go for an ultrasound and blood work.  If that comes back good, we’ll be doing our first injections tomorrow night.  My sister-in-law said I should throw a period party and it seemed like a good idea but I thought I’d just show you these pictures of us ‘partying’ it up in our engagement shoot from Lauren Fair.  My meds will be delivered tomorrow to my office.  It comes in a cooler and with it’s own sharps container so we can properly dispose of all these needles.

I think the appropriate feeling is a mix of PANIC and excitement!  At least for me.  I feel happy and emotional and hopeful and like I could throw up all at the same time.  I’m just hoping that everything with work on our first try, but I’m also trying to be realistic.  Our doctors are some of the best in the country so as long as my body progresses appropriately with the medication I will have a 70% chance of being preggo by the end of the month.  Those are good odds but certainly not a guarantee.  All we can do is wait and see…

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A Letter for my Husband

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Dear Kyle,

I’m sitting upstairs in the chair we will rock our babies to sleep in.  I can’t help but feel overwhelmed.  If all goes as planned, in a little under a year, we will be able to call each other more than best friends, more than husband and wife – we’ll be parents.  I’m so lucky that I get to take on this adventure with someone who loves me so dearly.  You’ve always been there to support me, to build me up when I’ve fallen and accept me with all of my flaws.  I couldn’t dream up a better man to raise a family with.

Things are probably going to get a little difficult this next month.  There will be a lot of hormones pulsing through my body.  I’m probably going to be a bitch.  I know you’re okay with this and you’ll put up with me, because really what other choice is there?  But, I want to say I’m sorry in advance.  When we get to hold our baby(ies) for the first time, we won’t even remember the struggle we’re facing now.  Nothing else will matter.  In the grand scheme of a lifelong marriage, I’m sure this will be just a tiny bump in the road.

I hope that we can agree on every little aspect of parenting, but I know that’s not realistic.  I’m sure that I’m fooling myself when I say I’ll be the ‘tough love’ parent, but once our babies are here, that will go to shit.  Sometimes you will have to be the bad guy, sometimes I’ll have to do it.  I just hope that we can show our children how much we love them and what kind of relationship they should aspire to have someday.  I hope they have your positivity and your smile.

I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.  I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully be able to put it into words, but I’ll keep trying.  Thank you for being you and for letting me be me.

Yours truly

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Two Consenting Adults

Today we signed our lives away.  We consented to IVF, ICSI, PGD, Assisted Hatching, participating in a study and probably a few other things we don’t even realize.  We decided what to do in case of death, divorce or having our embryos frozen for over 10 years.  We had all of our questions answered.  This is it.  This is the last step before we start our IVF cycle.  We are hopeful.  We are trying to stay hopeful.  After our appointment we went to Target and wandered around the baby section pointing out things we I liked.

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The plan is to go straight into our IVF cycle on Day 3 of my cycle, whenever that may be.  I need to call the pharmacy and ask them to hold off on sending anything to me until I call them on Day 1.  I’ll be visiting my doctor’s office an awful lot over the next month.  On the day of the embryo transfer I’ll have laser acupuncture before and after the procedure in hopes that helps me relax and creates a calmer environment in my uterus for implementation.  I was going to do acupuncture instead of anesthesia for the egg retrieval but apparently my left ovary is a shy bitch and is hanging out in an area not easily accessible so there would be more pain involved and therefore they must put me under.  Shit’s getting real.  Fingers crossed! Bring it on IVF – we’re ready for you!

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A Book Review: Breeding in Captivity

In the most recent issue of Real Simple (August 2014), they ask their readers what book keeps them positive.  The first answer was someone suggesting Stacy Bolts’ Breeding in Captivity, a memoir about Stacy’s struggles with infertility.  I decided to give it a shot, I could use something up-lifting.

Breeding in Captivity

What I ended up with was a headache from crying so much.  The book is witty and funny and altogether heartbreaking.  Perhaps it has a happy ending, perhaps it doesn’t (no real spoilers here).  I just don’t see how this Real Simple reader could read this and feel positive afterwards.  Infertility is so difficult to handle and the obstacles that are thrown at us throughout the process make us want to quit and never give up at the same time, if that makes any sense at all.  Stacy did a wonderful job of being real about the entire process – the ridiculous acronyms, the equipment, all of it.  It just didn’t leave me feeling all warm and fuzzy, it left me feeling really, really sad.  Overall it’s an easy read, a book that anyone going through infertility or adoption can relate to.  It was a quick book, taking me only 2 sittings to finish.  I would recommend the book, but maybe wait until you have your happy ending before reading it so as not to bum you out even more. On another note, tomorrow is our Pre-IVF appointment.  I’m anxious, nervous and confused with all these consents and all the procedures.  We’re hoping we can get our questions answered and make an informed decision.

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Fertility Diet Plan

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately and have found articles suggesting the perfect diet for fertility and/or IVF success.  While I don’t believe that eating any magical foods will unblock my tubes, I do think that eating healthy could up our chances of having a successful IVF experience.  I found an article stating that the live birth rate could be up to 3x as high for women who eat avocado during IVF.  I should’ve probably started this by saying I am not a dieter, I do not wish to lose weight or eliminate any particular thing from my diet.  Food is my love language.  I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.  I enjoy food, all kinds, including sour patch kids and Wendy’s.  Get over it.  I think the most important part of ensuring that I’m eating better is cooking at home.  We find that our food tastes better than what we spend 2-3 times the money on to eat out at a restaurant and we can control the butter, salt and fat contents if we make it ourselves.  Here’s what I’m eating this week.

Breakfast: Blueberry Power Muffins – I found this recipe on pinterest for blueberry muffins with oats and greek yogurt.  I used whole wheat flour instead of white flour, added walnuts and used plain greek yogurt and added honey.  These were very easy to make and with blueberries, oatmeal, greek yogurt, whole wheat and nuts you can’t really go wrong.  (just ignore the fact that butter and sugar are included)

Blueberry Power Muffins

 

Lunch: Guacamole Salad and Chicken Salad

Here’s the recipe for the Guac Salad.  I don’t have a picture of it yet because I’m going to make it each day at lunch so my avocado doesn’t turn.  The Chicken Salad recipe, I found here.  It calls for greek yogurt instead of mayo and I left out the cranberries.

Chicken Salad with Greek Yogurt

Snacks:  Veggies and Dip.  I love veggies and dip, it is a staple in my house.  I like cucumbers, tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, celery and broccoli.  I use a 16 oz. container of Sour Cream (full fat).  I’ve read conflicting articles about low fat dairy vs full fat when trying to conceive.  I mix it up.  All the greek yogurt I eat is low fat so I do full fat for everything else and 2% milk.  I buy Hidden Valley Ranch Dip Mix and mix it all up and viola, all done.  It’s easy, it’s yummy and it’s not all that bad for me.  The dip only contains 10% of your daily sodium.

Veggies

Ranch Dip

Dinner:  Grilled Turkey Meatballs with Whole Wheat Linguine and Tomato/Basil/White Wine sauce plus Olive Loaf and Oil for Dippng

I made the meatballs with ground turkey, onion, breadcrumbs, hot sauce, Worcestershire, A1 and some scallion pepper seasoning.  We discovered last week that you can grill them and they’re super yummy.  I used jarred tomato basil sauce and added white wine and put it all over whole wheat linguine.  We also have a loaf of 3 olive bread so I grabbed a chunk and made a bowl of olive oil, minced garlic, pepper and crushed red pepper for dipping.

Grilled Turkey Meatballs

Olive Loaf and Dipping

Whole Wheat Linguine with Turkey Meatballs and Tomato Basil Sauce with White Wine

 

Here’s to being as healthy as I can be!

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