The Worst Part of Being Married

I’m not sure how to start this little blog of mine.  I’ve been wanting to do this for years now but couldn’t find anything that I was so passionate about that I thought it was worth sharing, until now.

I’ve been married for nine months now and I think I’ve figured out the hardest part about being married, and it has nothing to do with my husband.  As soon as you get married, EVERYONE starts asking hounding you about when you’ll be starting a family.  This is a dangerous question in my mind.  What if we didn’t want kids?  What if we weren’t ready, or were pregnant but couldn’t tell anyone yet?  And what if we had just discovered that we would need IVF to conceive?  Well our reality is that my fallopian tubes are blocked and therefore, to start our family we will need in-vitro fertilization.  IVF!  We need IVF?!  Shit, this is real life.

At first, I was in denial.  I went for a routine test to be sure my tubes were open so that we could move forward to find some lesser reason why I wasn’t getting knocked up.  The HSG was painful, which I was later told is more painful for women with blocked tubes – as if knowing you have blocked tubes isn’t bad enough.  Right there in the room where the procedure was done at the hospital, the Nurse Practitioner from my RE’s office said, “I’m sorry but it appears that both of your fallopian tubes are blocked.  IVF is a good option for you.”  As I often do when I’m uncomfortable, I cracked some sort of joke about getting periods every month for no reason, and left the hospital.  Shame began to set in.  How would I tell my husband? How would we tell everyone else?

I realize now this is nothing to be ashamed of and that it makes more sense to share my story than to internalize all of my feelings.  My husband and I were meant to be parents and we will be.  This will work.  It has to work. Please work.

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12 thoughts on “The Worst Part of Being Married

  1. It is very brave of you to share your story!! It will work and we will be here supporting both of you during this time!! Love you!

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  2. Hi Kristin,
    I found your blog through Instagram and even though i don’t know you, I wanted to say how much I admire you for being open about your infertility. I found out last summer that my tubes are blocked and ivf is my only option for getting pregnant as well. It’s a hard pill to swallow but you’re right in knowing there is nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve been able to be open about my infertility with my family and friends and it has been a huge blessing to have their support. I plan on going through my first ivf cycle in Sept/Oct. I know this experience can be lonely so I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone.
    Shelly

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    1. Shelly,
      I’m so glad you found me! Make sure to keep checking back for updates as I go through my first round in August. I’ll be brutally honest about what it is I’m going through. I think it’s going to be a bit of a roller coaster emotionally and physically, but at least you’ll have an idea of what exactly to expect. I’m so sorry that you’re going through the same thing as me but I’m glad that we can do it together!
      Thanks!

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  3. I wish you all the best. I am just days away from birthing my son who is the result of my second round of IVF. I can promise you that gearing up for the egg retrieval suck in a big fat way but. There really is no point in saying otherwise. But seeing that embryo before they implant it is amazing. And the joy of watching your body finally do what it is supposed to do is indescribable.

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  4. Hi! I found your blog on Pinterest and my interest was piqued bc I am currently going through my first cycle of IVF after having tried to conceive for 2.5 years. My husband and I have undergone testing including the HSG and semen analysis and we have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We did try 3 rounds of Clomid/Ovidrel/IUI, the third of which resulted in a chemical pregnancy. So as result we are undergoing IVF. The appointments are frequent but in my office at least are quick and painless. The meds are not nearly as painful as you read about on the internet (the devil!) and I along with a few other folks that I have met along the way have had surprisingly little side effects, the worst of which has been headaches and bloatedness, which I’ll take over what I was expecting! I have faith that this will work, it has to, and have attempted to maintain a positive outlook through the entire experience, but have found that having a partner to go through the experience with is ALWAYS helpful!! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you and wish you the best of luck!

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    1. Sarah,
      Thanks for your words of encouragement. I hope everything works out for you as well. It’s a long journey but you’re right, so worth it!

      p.s. the internet IS the devil!
      Kristin

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  5. I’m so happy you started a blog and are sharing your story with the world. I can’t wait to follow along, I’ll be cheering you along every step of the way. Sending lots of baby dust!!!

    xoxo Jen

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