*Disclaimer: For any of my pregnant family, friends or acquaintances I really am happy for you!*
I can hear the baby crying next door. He sounds like he’s hungry, but what would I know? The sound is quiet, almost a whisper but it causes an ache in me. It only lasts a few minutes. I sit in silence in my bed just listening to his rhythmic cries. When he finally calms, I imagine he’s being fed.
In the last week there have been three pregnancy announcements by friends and family. I congratulate them all and I mean what I say. I’m not sure if it’s resentment or jealousy but this feeling sets in and I wonder when it will be my turn. How is it possible that someone else is already pregnant with their second child since Kyle and I have started this journey? Has that much time really passed? It doesn’t seem possible, but it is. From what I’ve been reading on other blogs and heard from those commenting here or on Instagram, this is a normal feeling given the situation. I take a few deep breaths and try to feel better.
We’re fortunate enough that we’re able to do IVF and our chances are good. Our doctors are some of the best in the country and have really high success rates for women under 35. Maybe I feel this way because I’m new to the whole process and a little bit naïve but I’m confident this is going to work for us. We want it so badly. I’m so lucky that I’ve found the person I will raise a family with and wouldn’t want to be on this path with anyone else.
Photo credit: Lauren Fair Photography (she also took our main picture and my ‘about me’ picture) and she’s the best!