Is this the calm before the storm or are we in it already?

Calm Before the Storm

(Another picture by the wonderful Lauren Fair.  This was just minutes before our wedding ceremony.  Kyle was already on the island – which is where the photo was taken from. I’m on the porch of the hotel across the sea and there’s a storm in the mountains.  Everyone was worried that it would ruin our ceremony, but before I could even notice it, it had disappeared and everything was beautiful.)

I’ve received a ton of phone calls over the last week from my Reproductive Endocrinologist’s office.  I’ve spoken with my nurse and the finance department about all of the last minute details that I need to clear up before round 1 begins.  They broke down all of the charges, what they’re for, who they’re charged to and what is due up front vs what we will be billed for.  My nurse confirmed my prolactin levels (something that should only be elevated in a pregnant/nursing woman) have returned to normal.  Twice before when my blood was drawn my levels were elevated which caused extra headaches because I had to have an MRI of my brain to make sure there wasn’t an adenoma in my pituitary gland – a freaking BRAIN TUMOR.  Luckily, my brain is just fine.  The third time they drew my blood they had me avoid dairy for 3 days and viola my levels returned to normal. We talked about how the calendar for my IVF cycle isn’t set in stone yet but the goal is to start within the first week of August.  I received a phone call from the pharmacy that will discreetly ship out my fertility medications so as not to humiliate me for being infertile when the delivery shows up at my office.  She ran down the list of all my prescriptions and it sounded like swahili to me, but I assume she knows what she’s talking about.  All I know is my order includes a sharp box of my very own to collect all of the needles from all of the injections I will either need to give myself or Kyle will have to administer.   We need to watch a video so we properly know how to mix the meds and do the pricks.  I imagine because my doctor’s office does this frequently it was just easier to make a video than to repeatedly teach the same thing to hopeful but inexperienced couples.  On Tuesday we have our Pre-IVF meeting where we will sign consents about what we will and won’t allow during our cycle, what happens if one or both of us dies during the cycle or after when any remaining embryos are frozen and other happy situations like that.  Then we wait.

Right now we feel like we’re in the calm before the storm because we aren’t actually making any progress.  At the same time it feels like the storm has already started with endless phone calls and voicemails and looming appointments and researching the perfect diet for IVF success and reading about IVF and talking to friends and family about IVF.  It’s all-consuming, overwhelming.

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