This is the moment

Science and Religion TTC IVF Infertility Our Plans Have Changed Blog


When I was in high school, I dated someone from a super religious family.  They went to a church that ex-communicated someone for getting remarried after a divorce.  A divorce that the ex-wife had requested.  They asked those who attended the church to turn the other cheek if they saw this man in public.  The ex-wife asked for forgiveness from the church, though she wasn’t looking to take her husband back and was forgiven.  Anyway, I think that’s when I started to really question who gave these people the authority to turn someone away from a church and whether some organized religions have gotten too big for their britches.  I believe in God, but I do not go to church.  Today, I searched “IVF” and after a few pages I came across a question someone had posted to the National Catholic Register stating that their neighbors (who are not catholic) were going through IVF and had already frozen some embryos and this person wanted to know if they could pray that the implantation would work.  The response that was given, pissed me off.  So I’m venting, here.  Basically it was said that IVF is a sin because it’s creating life outside the womb (though I can’t say I remember the bible saying conception had to happen within the fallopian tubes/uterus) and then the couple selects 1 embryo and kills the rest, basically selective abortion.  This upset me for a few reasons.  Often, more than 1 embryo is selected and yes it’s based upon which looks/tested the strongest because many of the ones that test or look poorly would result in miscarriages anyway (much like in natural conception).  After choosing which embryo(s) will be transferred, couples are given the option to freeze any additional embryos or donate any remaining embryos to other couples who cannot get pregnant or to research to improve the processes for the future.  The article told this person to pray that their neighbors would repent for their sins and to pray for the innocent child resulting from such sinful behavior.  It also suggested they breach the subject with the neighbor to make sure they know the moral implications of their actions.  My question is, who are they to judge?  It seems as if they’re not even educated on how the procedure works and I’m pretty sure they’re told not to judge lest ye be judged, am I right?  They basically told this person, ‘No, do not pray for success for this couple who is struggling with something we know nothing of.’

I am not being punished for being ‘ungodly’.  I am not supposed to be childless.  I should not go to hell for not being sorry that I’m undergoing IVF.  There was some sort of disease process throughout my body that caused my tubes to be blocked.  The God I thought these christians believed in was one who does all the judging himself and gave everyone free will.  If God created everything and everyone then he also created the Reproductive Endocrinologists and the science that makes IVF possible, right?

I believe that many people have prayed for what we’re going through.  I’ve prayed, friends and family have prayed.  I believe that it is already working.  It’s a small miracle that my progesterone levels dropped after they were rising so steadily.  I believe that there is more than just me, Kyle and our RE working together to create our children.



2 thoughts on “This is the moment

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