Filling in the Blanks

It’s been quiet on the blog lately and for that I’m sorry.  We are ready to share what has been happening over the last few weeks.  After my IVF transfer, we had to wait about 10 days for our first hCG test.  In the trying-to-conceive community this is referred to as the TWW or two week wait.  After reading other people’s journeys, I was expecting it to be the toughest, longest ten days of my life.  It wasn’t.  After the transfer, I was in a pretty good place.  I listened to happy music, watched funny movies and tried to laugh as much as possible (some study shows that IVF clowns increase implementation rates – but since I hate clowns, and a lot of people do, they recommend comedies).  The day after the transfer I began to feel my embryos implanting.  I’m sure this is all in my head, but I felt twinges on both sides of my uterus.  I just knew that meant both babies were making their homes.  Over the next few days I felt similar pains, had no signs of an impending period and stayed away from any physical activity.  There was one exception – at work, I was told to inter-office our new class brochures to each department/office that needed them.  When all was said and done it was in two large boxes that were fairly heavy.  I had told my boss via email I would need help getting them down the hall for the mailroom to pick up since I was not supposed to be lifting, pushing, pulling or twisting at all.  She came out and told me to send them and she walked away.  In my anger, I attempted to push the boxes with my feet down the hallway.  It was more of a workout than I had anticipated and my co-workers were mad at me for not just asking them.  I was sure this was going to cause me to miscarry.  I was still days away from my hCG test though so I just had to keep on going.

On Friday, August 22nd, I went into the doctors office first thing in the morning for my first hCG test.  I was a bundle of nerves and my stomach was in knots.  The nurse who took my blood asked me if I had cheated, threatening to rat me out to my regular nurse if I had.  I hadn’t cheated by taking a test at home.  I wasn’t prepared for a negative home pregnancy test so I avoided it.  I didn’t expect to hear from nurse until somewhere between 11:30 and 1 when she usually calls me with blood work results.  So while I was walking Hazel in our development I was surprised to hear my phone ring at 9:30 am.  When I answered, my nurse asked me if I had cheated and I told her no.  The words that followed have changed my life.  She began with, “Then, I don’t know how to tell you this…”  In that instant, my heart sank.  I had been so confident.  And then I heard, “but you’re PREGNANT.”  I broke down in the middle of the parking lot next to my house.  Whatever else she said to me was a blur.  She had told me my hCG level and I don’t remember what she said.  All I remember is we needed a number of about 331 to indicate a normal pregnancy when I returned in two days.  Two days later I received a similar phone call and my levels had increased by more than the projected 66%.  I was scheduled for my first ultrasound on 8/31.

That morning we went in for the first ultrasound and a retest of my hCG and progesterone levels.  They found two sacks.  Baby A was measuring right at 5 weeks while Baby B was one day behind.  At my second ultrasound on 9/10 Baby A was measuring 6 weeks, 4 days and Baby B was now lagging 3 days behind.  We did see two heartbeats.  The doctor was concerned about Baby B and prepared me for the worst.  The following Sunday night I had some spotting after taking my third dose of progesterone late (I typically do it at 9:30 and it was about 11:30).  I panicked and called the answering service and was put through to the doctor on call.  She assured me that this can be completely normal for my stage of pregnancy and it’s especially common for twin pregnancies and just to try and relax until my next ultrasound.  If something was going to go wrong, we wouldn’t be able to stop it.  On 9/16 I went in for my third ultrasound.  I was SO nervous.  They took all the regular measurements and then went on to measure Baby A, who was at 7 weeks, 1 day (10.37mm) and then Baby B and when they said the measurements, I literally jumped out of shock.  10.62mm or 7 weeks, 1 day.  Both heartbeats were strong!  How lucky was I that both babies were still there?

I’m currently only 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant but we didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer.  We still have  a long road ahead of us, but we won’t be going through it alone.  My next and final appointment with my RE is tomorrow morning.  The following week I have my first appointment with my OB’s office.  My biggest fear is that once I stop taking progesterone, that I could risk losing the babies.  There will be no way to prevent that.  All I can do is hope and pray.