New Year’s Resolutions

Most other blogs covered their New Year’s resolutions already, but it’s still January so I figured what the heck.  When I thought, at the end of last year, what my goals were for 2015 only one word came to mind: survive.  2014 was quite the year.  It was filled with struggle, disappointment, dark days, hope, tears and overwhelming happiness.  As we look ahead, I know this year is going to be the most difficult I’ve experienced yet.  We need to survive the rest of this pregnancy, which has taken a bit of a scary turn, but hopefully my damn cervix stays shut.  We need to survive labor and delivery, in whatever form it comes.  We need to survive new parenthood and twin babies.  We need to survive becoming a one-income family with 6 mouths to feed (counting the pups).  So above all else, we just need to survive.

On top of that, there are definitely a few other things I’d like to accomplish.  I’ve been an obsessive planner my whole life.  Though when looking back, little to none of those ‘life plans’ ever worked out the way I expected.  I want to take a step back from planning and just let life happen.  This is going to be hard for me.  I almost want to plan out how to not plan.  You see?  I’m obsessed.

Another goal is to simplify.  I’ve been trying to declutter my house since before the end of the year.  We have boxes of old papers, old trinkets and a bunch of other junk that we moved into the house with and some we’ve acquired since living here.  I want it all gone.  Zero extra clutter, but it’s fricken impossible!  I’m trying my best and will soon be moving on to our closets, getting a mail/bill system set up, the nursery and organizing the office even more than I already have.  I’ve been decluttering digitally too.  I have been unsubscribing from the majority of emails that come through.  It’s weird to check your email in the morning and see nothing new, but it’s refreshing.

One last resolution is to ‘let it go’.  I realize that song is so last year, but the meaning is something I should’ve figured out a long time ago.  I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my day – nothing illegal but educationally, financially, career wise, with relationships and friendships.  There’s nothing I can do to change any of that, but it haunts me constantly.  I get really down on myself for not knowing better, or for knowing better and making the mistakes anyway or for not thinking things through.  It’s time I let that all go.  It isn’t helping me to dwell on the past.

This is a lofty list of resolutions for me, especially to take on in the biggest year of my life so far.  I’ve always been one to do everything all at once, so here’s to taking it all on in 2015!

p.s. these photos are from Lauren Fair Photography from our engagement shoot back in 2012 (we were engaged on NYE inside the Tiffany & Co. in Atlantic City so we recreated NYE for our shoot).